About pants

I have two pants stories. I just thought I’d share them with you.

Sooooo…I was gardening yesterday. Which is something I never do. At least, here in the States. Gardening was easy in SA where dear old Elson dug the holes pulled up the weeds and did the dirty work and I did all the fun stuff.

I am trying to pull out the asparagus fern in our front yard to put the lovely plants from the neighbor there instead (before they die from root exposure :-D). So, armed with a pair of the boys’ snow gloves (um…I don’t have garden gloves) I tackled that fern. I didn’t last long before I wished that Elson was here. The asparagus fern’s thorns pricked me right through the thick, padded gloves (I pulled a thorn out with tweezers this morning). And then I started feeling a burning, itching sensation on my leg. Soon I felt itchy all over. My wonderful imagination told me I had touched some poison ivy and I could just picture myself breaking out all over and going to church looking like a freak.

So I came inside.

I must have been inside for more than 15 minutes when I thought I felt another thorn pricking me on my derriere. I tried to reach it but it pricked my hand. Then it was in an altogether different spot. Still thinking it was a thorn, I managed to get my hand pricked another time. This is the point where my pants came off…fast!!! It was a wasp. The thing must have stung me about 7 times. With a cry of: “Die, you bastard!”, I sent him to eternity. Well, not quite, the carpet was too soft and so was Jenna’s slipper with which I tried to squish him. I managed to immobilise him and take him outside to be lizard food.

Today I took a box full of books to our local homeschool association’s annual book sale. I was wearing my favorite pair of pants, some well-loved and oft-washed corduroys. You guessed it. I bent to pick up the box and felt and heard the pants rip. I was surrounded by other people, one sweet lady tried to see if the damage was embarassingly obvious. She couldn’t see it, but to be on the safe side I had to walk a bit funny. I was also afraid to bend over at the tables to fill in the consent forms so I stood dead straight, with my arm extended all the way whilst doing it. I think the lady who was receiving my books thought I was a bit batty.

I am thankful that it wasn’t a huge, top-to-bottom, underwear-exposing rip, but I am sad about the demise of my corduroys. They will be sadly missed.

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9 responses to “About pants

  1. I”m sorry about your corduroy’s. I would be sad to lose a favorite pair of pants. Even sorrier about the wasp, although I did chuckle at he image of you trying to kill him made especially funny with your cry of ‘die, you bastard’. Gosh Sumi, I love you. I probably would have said the exact same thing. I’m sure that many christians would also but few will admit to it.

  2. Sumi, such language I am shocked!

    I had to laugh at your wasp story…. I know that is terribly cruel, but I do wish I could have see such a spectacle…. it’s a good thing you had come into the house before discovering your peeping tom.

  3. I had to laugh at you Sumi – those “thorns” were hefty! Jy kan darem n ding lekker beskryf! Did the plants ever get planted? Love Mom.

  4. aah- your mom!! yay!
    andrew justifies saying the word bastard b/c it is in the Bible. hehe – I personally like the word ass b/c it’s fun to say. (I am my papa’s child).

    I was stung by wasps about 5 times a couple summers ago- good luck with that, my friend. good thing you’re not allergic!!

    one more thing- was this mishap with your pants as embarrassing for you as that time with the zipper down? am I remembering that one correctly?

  5. No, the zipper down one wins hands down. 😀

  6. I forgot, I once sat on a wasp… it was not happy with me…

  7. Such language….. completely understandable (I get offended when its said as normal conversation vs your situation).

    I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that, it is amusing to read I’m sure that you didn’t find it so at the time. Thanks for sharing w/all of us. 😀

  8. Awwww…..poor Sumi.

    I hope you get to feeling better soon. Sorry about the pants. That can be embarassing. My hubby tore his pants at the NICU straight up and down and get this didn’t even realize it. He was walking JT back and forth and his backside was very exposed. We finally told him. I know bad of us, but, we were laughing so hard we couldn’t talk. He had to run to Meijers and get a new pair. I really wish that I could have seen him do that. But, I didn’t go. I still laugh about it.

    I hope you get your plant planted without anymore mishaps.

  9. Sumi,
    Ek is verstom oor die manier waarop jy jouself in die “Ingelse”taal kan uitdruk. (Soos ‘n Joernalis van faam) Meer nog is jou groei in die HERE.
    Ek merk die wysheid, die insig en begrip wat net die HERE iemand kan gee. Sumi, jy is kosbaar!!! Hou vas wat jy het.

    Jou se PA. Lief vir julle almal. (Vertaal maar aan al die
    ‘Merikaners’)

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