I don’t really know how I made it through high school. I had some serious self-identity issues as a teenager (who doesn’t?) and my coping mechanism was to live in Sumi-land, or a dream world of my own making. I had one friend at school and when she was absent (which was often) I would hide away in the rest rooms so that the other kids wouldn’t see me wandering around by myself.
Living in Sumi-land included developing my own ‘style’ (for lack of a better word, because it wasn’t really stylish. 🙂 ). I made my own clothes using funky reject fabrics and bought artsy hippie style dresses at flea markets. I made my own jewelry and often went to church barefoot, with hoop earrings and the remnants of a torn hippie dress tied around my hair.
Much to my surprise, during the final months of my final year, I happened to discover a group of friends who were also ‘different’. I started dating one of the guys in the group and suddenly went from being friendless to being part of a close-knit group of friends. Those were interesting days, I look back at them fondly…we were united in our love for jazz music, the Beatles, Neil Young, Cat Stevens, and others. We often went to the theatre together. We had some great philosophical discussions. And, since this was the brainy group in school, their help in studying for the finals brought my math grade up quite a few levels!
Soooo…I thought I had found my niche in life. I was a ‘deep thinker’, and maybe a bit of a ‘mystic’ too. (Yes, it pains me to think that I used that word to describe myself once or twice! lol ) I hung around with wanna-be poets, musicians, philosphers, world-changers…
Roll on about 4 years. I am still very much the airy-fairy person with her head up in the clouds, waiting for her (very artsy) prince charming to sweep her off her feet.
My best friend knew all about my impossible ideals and so when hubby called her fiance Mark (who happened to be hubby’s best friend) to get my phone number the conversation went something like this:
Mark: (on the phone with Richard, but yelling to Heather) “Heath, what’s Sumi’s phone number?”
Heather: (Clearly audible to hubby on his side of the phone) “Who wants to know?”
Mark: “It’s Richard.”
Heather: “Why does he want her number?”
Mark: “To ask her on a date.”
Heather: (to hubby’s dismay and our amusement later on) “Tell him he is wasting his time. He is not her type. ”
We still laugh about that one.
So, he got my number from Mark and Heather and the four of us went out to dinner. I felt a little bit attracted to him that night but then again, I was hungry for male attention and was attracted to many guys. The clincher came a few days (or was it weeks?) later when hubby accompanied me to a home group I belonged to at the time. He started sharing about the love story between Jesus and his bride and that was it. I saw the man’s heart, and I was completely hooked.
In some ways, Heather was right. I loved his heart, but it took me a while to get rid of all my childish, pre-conceived notions. I gave him a terribly hard time in the beginning. But he patiently stuck it out with me, and as time went on I realised, he was so perfect for me.
My hubby has his feet flat on the ground. He is a deep thinker too, but also the least pretentious person I have ever met. I do not know of anyone with a humbler heart. He is consistent and steadfast and has plenty of integrity. (It used to irritate me when he wouldn’t tell me confidential stuff that other people told him.) I shudder to think what would have happened to me had I met my ‘ideal man’. Hubby has helped my feet to get back down to earth, where they belong.
Sunday will be our 18th wedding aniversary. Knowing us (and our wallet), we probably will not do much to celebrate, but this post is for you, my sweet hubby. I love you.