I have a teenager now. My oldest has shot past me in height (which doesn’t say much 🙂 ) and his voice has deepened so much that it sometimes catches me unawares. More than once, recently, I have overheard the kids talking and had a split-second moment of fuzzy-brained confusion. Who is that stranger talking to my kids? Oh, it is their brother. 😀
With the physical changes came all the typical signs of teenage-dom. Suddenly the boy is begging me to stay away from his lunch table and his friends when it is my turn to do duty in the lunchroom at school. It is just too embarassing to have mom hovering around you during lunch, y’know. He doesn’t trust me to buy clothes for him, because I won’t know what he likes anymore. Nothing I say is taken at face value anymore, and he questions everything.
In some ways I relish all the changes I see in my boy. It is a joy to see him become a person in his own right, and I take great delight in his sense of humor and quirky comments about the world around him. I told him recently that, when he was around Jenna’s age, there was a time when I felt like I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was going through such an amazing time of discovery and growth that I didn’t want to miss a thing. I feel the same way now.
But I digress. My boy is growing up, and all of a sudden I am not the center of his world anymore. He is pulling away and often I find myself feeling curiously side-lined as he slowly makes his own way into manhood. It is tough and sometimes I wonder whether I still have a special place in his heart.
He was a bit more chatty than usual today as I was running him home from the park, and we had one of those precious conversations that I have cherished through the years. My heart was full. I mean, y’all, my boy actually affirmed me…in a very small way but still. He told me that I was an alright mom and quite normal as far as homeschoolers go (whom he seems to think is quite a weird breed sometimes 😉 ). Watch out Applie, you have competition. LOL
I was driving back to the park pondering how my heart had been so moved by a simple sentence uttered out of the mouth of my son. It was something so small, just a mere crumb from his table, but this side-lined mom gobbled it up with relish, and found it quite filling too.
And then I found myself tearing up as I thought about One that loves me dearly, but whom I tend to side-line all too often. So often I keep him waiting while I rush along doing my busy-life thing…
I turned my heart towards him in worship there in the car , and instantly he met with me. It was a small thing, yet my Jesus counted it precious enough to come and bless me with his presence. It amazed me again that the God of the whole universe would treasure those little crumbs from my table just like I treasure the ones from my son’s. That I can actually bless his heart and make him rejoice over me just with a simple turning of my heart and a few words of praise.
Son 4:9 You have ravished my heart, my sister, my bride; you have ravished my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.