Well, knowing me it probably won’t be quick. I get started and then I can’t stop!
I have had a crazy, hectic, exhausting week. Monday heralded the first day of Teacher’s Training Week in preparation for the school year. I had trouble shutting my brain down to sleep the night before and haven’t had time to catch up on the lost sleep, so I have been keeping Folgers (for my South African friends, Folgers = cheap stuff coffee) in business this week.
I was stupid enough to have some gourmet coffee (NOT Folgers) last night, whilst visiting a friend (she seemed dubious and didn’t have any herself) and it kept me wide awake in the wee hours of this morning. Then, I crashed this evening without intending to (I was just supposed to lie down for a little while – you know?) and when I woke up I didn’t know if it was still evening or if it was the next morning already. 🙂
My mom’s visit is drawing to an end, tomorrow is her last full day with us. It feels like we didn’t do nearly enough things together. We never made it to the beach side park that she loves so much, and we only went to see Jenna’s grave very briefly on her birthday. I hope we will be able to go there tomorrow.
I DID manage to take my mom to see a favorite clothing store. My shopping days at Anthropologie are over for now since I have maxed out the gift card I received there last Christmas. A friend and I went on a shopping spree just before my visit to South Africa, in January. Jenna didn’t go shopping with us, but still those clothes are like relics of the carefree days before my life changed irrevocably. I had loved then, having a girly day with my friend, being pampered by the sales ladies, and having my own changing room with my name on it.
I have bagged up the one sweater I bought that day. I wore it on those cool evenings on the farm and in the African bush, with Jenna on my hip. I imagine it still smells like her.
My mom and I also visited the giant JoAnn’s store nearby where we got lost drooling over all the gorgeous fabrics and ribbons and laces and yarn. I saw the most beautiful fabric for wedding gowns at JoAnn’s and it hit me: I will never see Jenna in a wedding dress here on earth. As I walked through the fabric aisles, every bit of pink fleece and sheer organza brought with it a pang. How Jenna would have loved to bury her face in the soft velours and satins. How I would have loved to make her a fleece blanket, or a quilt, or a princess outfit, or accessories for her room with all those yards of gorgeous fabrics.
To update you all on my life, I am getting ready to teach Middle school History, Bible, and Journalism this year. I am excited but also aware that it is going to take a lot out of me. The school I will be teaching at has wonderful, very hands-on parents who have high expectations. That is a good thing but it can surely add pressure too. 🙂
The journalism course is one in which I will be breaking new ground, both for me and for the school. I am a huge perfectionist when it comes to developing a study unit from scratch. I LOVE doing it, but I tend to search compulsively until I find exactly the right approach or activity for each concept that I want to teach. It can be very time consuming, and managing my time so that I can be adequately prepared for teaching and still be able to attend bible school is going to be a big challenge for me.
I have missed checking up on all my bloggery friends (that Google reader counter is way up again) and blabbing my thoughts out over here.
I wonder where my blogging will be once school starts. I might find myself bloggin’ only once in a great while, or this might become a place to regularly pour out all my random thoughts as I embrace all the changes facing me! Whoa, God wasn’t joking when he told me that he was ‘doing a new thing’ in my life!
I am both excited and a bit apprehensive about what this year holds. There will be many adjustments for our whole family. I am going to be busy. I am going to need to be organised (a challenge for me). The boys will have to take on more responsibilities around the house.
I know this though: God has ordered my steps until now and he has already gone before me to prepare my path. I feel a bit like Moses, who said to God that if God didn’t go with him and the Israelites, then he wasn’t going to go. There’s no way I am going to be able to do this on my own. I just don’t have the goods, folks. I can only tackle the challenges before me if God is right there alongside me. I do sense that he is though, so I can take a deep breath and enter this new phase of my life with confidence, taking it one step at a time.