An old hat post

I wrote this late last Friday. It’s kind of old hat already and I have a new blog post stewing that I will hopefully post this evening. But I thought I’d post it for what it’s worth. Y’all might get two posts out of me in one day. 🙂

Since it is already past my bedtime, I should have no business sitting here bloggin’. But I decided to listen to Bob James’ Roberta on my iTunes library and so here I sit, unable to tear myself away from the mellow paino sounds of perhaps one of my favorite compositions ever. A boyfriend in my final year of high school introduced me to this instrumental piano piece, and I still love it.

I had a music-filled day. On a whim, I played the piano for a while today. It’s worth a mention since I have been playing so few and far between lately. Man, I love that instrument. I love just letting my fingers go and finding new combinations of sounds. I am sadly quite limited since I have not ever been a faithful piano student. When I play like I did today, I am always cognisant of wasted time and opportunities. A pianist I admire greatly recently told his family that I play the piano beautifully. I ruefully thought to myself that he’s probably heard all of my very limited repertoire, and doesn’t realise that it doesn’t go any further than that. 🙂

We had a concert at church tonight by one of the musicians that pioneered the Jesus Movement here in America.  Paul Clark is a contemporary of christian music legends like Larry Norman, Keith Green, Abe Laboriel and Phil Keaggy. The latter is still one of his closest friends. I am flabbergasted at the sounds one guy can coax out of an acoustic guitar. I still have strands of guitar music weaving through my head. The last time guitar music played around in my head like this was after seeing the movie August Rush. I heard the same dancing, lilting, vibrantly alive guitar sounds tonight. Loved it.

We had dinner with Paul Clark the night before last, and he told us a story that tickled my funny bone. I have to share it with my South African friends. He first visited the country in the early eighties when the SABC only had two tv channels, one in English, and one in Afrikaans. So he sings his songs and they are recorded for a tv show. The first night, he sees himself performing on tv. It is heavily edited as things were in SA at that time. The next night he is surprised to see himself again on tv. This time however, the SABC had taken the footage of him and dubbed Afrikaans lyrics over his song. LOL! I don’t think he knew that he could sing in Afrikaans. 🙂

Anyhow, here I am tonight, still praising the God who can put songs on our lips no matter where we find ourselves.  Rejoicing in his song, which goes on.

I have a page in my bible where Jenna scribbled one day with a yellow highligher. I have stuck a note into my bible at that spot, so that I can find it easily when I want to. I was looking at that sweet little reminder of my muffin the other day, tracing her scribble with my finger, when my eye caught the underlined verse on that page. I had underlined it some time before Jenna left us:

Gen 45:5 Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. Gen 45:7 And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

As I read those words they jumped out at me. It was as if Jenna herself was speaking to us and saying: It’s OK. There’s a reason I had to go before you. God has an inheritance here on the earth for you, and he is going to do something mighty in you.

I could say much more about this. It sparked a search to find the passages in Genesis and in Deuteronomy where Jacob and Moses blessed the tribes of Israel, to see what they said to Joseph. Did you know that the name Joseph means “to add”? I found out also, that Joseph’s two sons were Ephraim, which means “doubly fruitful” and Manasseh, which means “causing to forget”.

It reminds me again, of my friend Phyllis’ words: God did not take Jenna from me to rob me, but to add something to my life. My prayer is that I will be ‘doubly fruitful’ for the kingdom’s sake, and that somehow there will be blessings that will help me to forget my pain (even for a moment) and embrace the joys of having had Jenna with us for a season.

5 responses to “An old hat post

  1. I completely enjoyed your musings this evening… Thanks for posting!

  2. This is so beautiful…as always.
    Oh, how precious the treasure of your sweeties scribbles, and how tender the word He spoke to your heart.

    I must be honest. It almost pains me for you to have read my last post. I think of you and others who have lost as you have…and I get frustrated with myself for not being more loving, more compassionate, more patient with my children. I need to treasure them. You were so gracious to leave me a comment and to not let me have it for forgetting to be more careful with my babies. Thank you, Sumi, for your graciousness.

    You are such a beautiful woman of God. I know I have not met you…it just shines through all you post and through your comments.

    Thank you.

  3. Once again your writing has touched me. I know I don’t post often, but I still lift you and your family up in prayer.
    May the Lord bless you and keep you and may His face shine upon You!

    Cynthia Y.

  4. Thanks for stopping by, I think of you so often and still check in on ya! Blessings and grace be unto you as you continue to wade through the grief. I am making it but I miss him so much!!

  5. When I read how God is working in your life while you grieve for Jenna, it makes me realize my need to be more Christ like and to drink deeply from the well. You bless so many lives – even though they might not comment. May your memories be sweet as they are painful. You will always love and miss Jenna. I am thankful you are allowing God to fill that empty space she left in your heart.

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