Stepping up and stepping out

I am LOVING the fall weather that unexpectedly dropped in on our corner of the US. It is my favorite time of the year as far as weather is concerned, with Spring running a close second. It seems that I can never quite enjoy spring to its fullest though. It coincides with one of the busiest seasons if you are a school teacher. Plus, things always seem to thwart my spring enjoyment. Like the year we spent almost our entire spring (it is short here) cooped up in a hotel thanks to a house fire. Or the year we moved during spring and I was too busy packing and unpacking to enjoy the outdoors. Or last year, when the sky seemed wide and empty and time seemed to last forever and the birdsong reminded me too painfully that Jenna was gone.

Yup, I like Fall. I love the Thanksgiving Holidays, and the way that the weather slowly turns colder until we can make cozy fires in the fireplace and burn spiced cider fragranced candles. My students at school love it too – on Wednesday I taught two of my four classes outside.

I am enjoying my classes this year. I am blessed to have my own classroom – it makes a huge difference, and I feel slightly more organised as a result. I say ‘slightly’, because I still don’t feel organised enough (I wonder if I ever will?). I took on an extra subject this year – Earth Science for sixth grade, and together with helping the middle boy adjust to being at our school for the first time, I have my hands full. I only feel now, after 6 weeks, that I am starting to get my stride.

My journalism class is wonderful. I have half the students I had last semester, and it is so much more manageable and so much less frenetic. We have two weeks to go until publication date, and almost all the articles are ready for layout! That is a first. Hubby says he can install Publisher on my school computers for me – so, instead of me going nutso once a month, I can teach the students to do the job themselves! Now I just need to get the man in my classroom and to work on those machines…

Otherwise…I’m doing fine. Challenged to ‘step it up’ where responsibility is concerned. I was talking to God the other day about how tired I was of going around the same old mountains again and again and again, and he reminded me in his tender, full-of-mercy way that everything I want requires some kind of sacrifice from me. I need to remind myself that the things I long for so much are there for the taking, provided I am willing to invest the time and the effort required. Do I want more of Jesus? I don’t need to try harder, I need to make time for his presence more. Do I want growth in my marriage? I don’t need to resign myself to the status quo, I need to put down my own needs and ask Jesus to help me to minister to the hubby better. Do I want to be a worship leader? I need to pick up my guitar more. (Duh)

OK, so it is so simple, but I often tend to think that everything in life should just happen automatically! (Double duh)

When I look at my life I see so much wasted time and opportunities. But there is a grace stirring in me, and I know Jesus can redeem even my failures and use them for his glory. Sooo…here’s me, stepping out…


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