I should be in bed. It’s late and I need my beauty sleep. You can bank on that. 😉

So, this will be short.

I am simply grateful tonight. I want to celebrate this gorgeously balmy spring weather, which sings out a resurrection song. It seems no small co-incidence that Easter and April happen around the same time. (In the Northern hemisphere at least). The new life budding and sprouting in the trees and expressed in the humble praise songs of the birds, is just the reflection of a deeper stirring I feel inside me.

I am grateful that our personal winter seasons don’t last forever. At some point, the cold and barrenness make us cry out to God, and true to form, he comes. He never fails to turn up when we ask him to, pouring his life-giving rain on our hearts and making everything new.

This is where I am tonight. I spent a good amount of time in his presence at church this evening, and have walked away from the experience with new hope. With a new sense of his beauty, his glory, his love.

I surrendered Jenna to him again. I told him it’s OK. I am OK with her being with him. My heart is still broken, but at moments like these, all I know is the most indescribable peace. It truly defies words.

Like the delicate spring blossoms on the trees outside, that remind me so much of my delicate, pink-loving little girl, I too feel like there is a new life pulsing through me. One that promises great things, and fruit to follow.


10 responses to “Spring

  1. Beautiful!
    I missed your posts, and the other day, when it said “Leaving” with no post written, I was afraid that meant you were leaving blogland! So glad you haven’t… I enjoy reading your thoughts.
    Spring brings so many emotions to me, too 🙂

  2. Sumi,
    Thank you for this beautiful post today. I needed it. I could taste the peace through your post. Today I just needed that reminder of the Prince of Peace in whom I trust. Thank you for being a shining light of His.


  3. Sumi, you express yourself so beautifully. I understand and could feel the change of season as you explained it. I have found myself in a Winter season, in God, for so long. For me, I even felt ‘unsaved’… as if I had lost my salvation.

    I could do much more to improve my relationship with the Lord, but the weight of that season was almost too much for me to bear. Deadness. I felt so dead.

    I too, am feeling the Spring season in my walk. And I love it!

  4. Hi again Sumi 🙂

    You may remember me from my old blog “Priceless Pearls”… you found me one day and left a comment. I have been following your blog ever since.

    Even back then, you said we were kindred spirits. I believe it’s true 😀

    Thank you for visiting my blog today, and leaving such an encouraging comment.

    Bless you dear sister…

  5. sumi, your comment on alyssa’s blog meant SO much to me. your pain, i believe, is deeper because you had jenna for 3 years but what you shared with her was so touching and REAL. i didn’t know you weren’t having any more children – even knowing that another would not replace jenna – but that is another grief to bear. i even tried to force God’s will i guess by asking alyssa “can they harvest your eggs and put them in a surrogate” – AS IF that would guarantee a daughter for her! i read somewhere “it never gets easier – you just get stronger”. still checking in on you and praying for your sweet heart.

  6. so funny…..wondering if anybody else ever called them “zits!!”

  7. Hi Sumi. I think of you & your Jenna so often. I shared about her on my blog today. She is so sweet and precious. I hope you don’t mind.

  8. oh sumi. this was wonderful. it fills me with hope in the middle of a hard night.


    of course.

    i love you,


  9. Just thinking of you, as I often do, even though I have never met you. Praying you and those you love are well and that God is continuing to bless, guide, and comfort you all.

  10. Pingback: >Please Lord...not MY child. - My Rockin' New Blog

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